


14 cannibal kings

by verulams (finnlogan)



Series: 2015 yognonsense [1]
Category: The Yogscast
Genre: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ON GODS GREEN EARTH CAN MAKE ME TAG THIS AS THEIR REAL NAMES, Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Alien Biology, Aliens, Gen, Snippets, Survival Games, Xephos POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:21:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23683819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/finnlogan/pseuds/verulams
Summary: UNFINISHED SNIPPET from 2015.***Xephos and Strife are aliens of the same kind. Ridgedog was some kinda fuckin'space-fascist, because that's as far as their relationship goes. Ridge doesn't appear to get the message. He puts them together for the survival games interview.
Relationships: MENTIONS of Sjin, Ridgedog & Xephos, Strife & Xephos
Series: 2015 yognonsense [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1705456





	14 cannibal kings

**Author's Note:**

> please don't judge me

They all meet for the survival games as if they've never met before. This time, Ridge is so cocky he holds _auditions._

They are paired off, competing for teams and battles and weaponry before they even start fighting, and really. It all feels very over-elaborate. Even for Ridge. 

He gets Strife, even though the only connection between them was their shared ancestry and Ridge being a goddamned space-racist. Also Parv is there, because really Ridge gets off on slightly disadvantaging Xephos- he's flitting about Strife like he's a mildly stupid bat, and is generally being thoroughly distracting. 

The brief interview is essentially a chance for Ridge to question them, sate his curiosity. 

That he goes for _blood colour_ first is a testament to him being a huge cock, but Xephos explains anyway. 

"What, the green blood? Or the blue blood?" Xephos gestures violently in Strife's direction, then at himself. 

Ridge just nods because he was _infuriating,_ so Xephos just rolls with it. 

"Back home, it was difficult to be involved with people that weren't in your area- Strife was very much not in the same field as me;" Another jerk of the hand pulls Strife's attention from where he's talking to Parv, their low murmur not loud enough to quite understand but certainly loud enough to be distracting. "Green blood, too. Neither of us were quite right, in that way- our blood wasn't meant to be bright blue or green like his, it was meant to be this deep ochre thing, like- like there was some xenosex somewhere in his family tree, and there was a genetic 'defect' in mine."

And they both scowl, and in the same moment, Xephos says, "So I ran away to the military," and from across the room Strife mutters about businessmen and shady galactic trading. 

But Ridge is not impressed and they can tell (or at least, Xephos can. Ridge has a smile like a cat with a mouse but a face as rigid as steel.)

"Yes," he says, and it almost comes from the air itself rather than his mouth, "But, how are you special? Even if you would have been interesting as aliens separately, together you are one of the pair. Gentlemen, with people like Nano and Rythian around, I'm afraid I'll need something better than a xenobiology lesson in your planets caste system."

And honestly, Xephos is starting to get very tired of this very quickly. He'd met Nano, and if 'unique' was what Ridge was looking for, he could gladly plunge any human into flux and leave them to see what happened. Maybe he'd be paid for it. It was a business idea, and one to look into for the Labs. 

He and Strife look at each other, briefly, and Parv leaves the room from behind the desk without being asked. Xephos can't tell if it's because he's bored or if it's because he thinks something "super secret" is about to happen.

Regardless, it's Strife that starts. "I'm the- _was_ the richest person in the whole eastern sector. And it's my money too, earned by ruthlessness and enterprise." Xephos almost snorts, because even though this is the first time he's had to deal with Ridge in a business capacity, they've met enough times that it's obvious- Ridge knows, automatically, just which one of them is more ruthless. 

Xephos has a feeling it's not Strife. 

"And I can build businesses and destroy other people's."

"So can The Architect." Really, Xephos wonders more how much time Ridge had spent with Sjin than the shocked look on Strife's face, but the knowledge that Strife has underestimated his competition is vindicating nonetheless. "You sound a lot like a Sjin with fewer perks." Ridge smirks and Strife's face creases into a deep frown. "Inherent knowledge of machinery and space travel?" 

That quirks Ridge's eyebrow. 

"The latter, I'm pretty sure your blue friend could do-" A thumb is jerked in Xephos's direction, and he twitches both at the forced unfamiliarity of Ridge's address and the suggestion that Xephos might understand space travel. 

He had been a captain, not an engineer.

(Loved the ship, adored it, but never really understood it)

"-but the machinery gift we can work with. Let me..." He snaps his fingers and suddenly there's a computer in front of them, glowing with text in a language Xephos can't read. "Tell me about it," he says. " Surprise me."

Strife squints, face crinkling up. 

"This is- I can't read this, this is Quantum-Sector script-" Ridge's smile is brutal and sharp at the edges. 

"I know. I said, surprise me."

"I-" his face is really crumpled now, eyebrows heavy and cast in a strange light by the screen as his hand flicks back and forth across it. "It's got at least 12 processors, judging by the run speed- if it's quantum it's probably more, and lookin' at it, it probably doesn't run off electricity. It’s meant to control and run... Maybe manufacturing? It looks like quite a direct system, not meant for public use-"

Ridge doesn't look impressed (being honest: Xephos is absolutely impressed. It's quite something to see Strife in his element) but his steel-strong grin is softer. 

"Okay. Now make it work."

"I- _what?"_

Ridge is steel-tipped again, coated in something unfavourable and tart hanging in the air. 

"I said, make it work. I won't repeat myself again, Strife, if you want a chance in the Survival Games-"

"No, no, I do, I do, I- I- I just-" Xephos has to bite back a smirk as his voice breaks. _Embarrassing._ "It's- I can. Just give me a second."

It doesn't take a second, more like a minute. Strife's frown pulls his whole face forward, fingers flying desperately on the screen- still annoyingly obscured from Xephos- and, judging by the grudging respect on Ridge's face, making some headway. 

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me, if you really want to after that whole thing, at [finnlogan ](https://finnlogan.tumblr.com) or [verulamfic](https://verulamfic.tumblr.com) on Tumblr.
> 
> You are also allowed to send me an outraged message asking why I'm uploading old yogscast fic in 2020, but the only response I can give you is that I don't know and that I needed it out of my drafts folder.


End file.
